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Fat Vampire

a Never Coming of Age Story
FindingJane
Aug 26, 2016FindingJane rated this title 4 out of 5 stars
Scintillating, wry and pointed (sorry, couldn’t resist), “Fat Vampire” skewers the popular teen vampire genre with malicious tongue-in-cheek humor. Not all vampires are hot and buff. Not all are suave Eurotrash. Certainly not all newbies have their situation figured out—especially if their sire doesn’t stick around to show them the ropes. Being turned means you stay as you are…for the rest of eternity. So if you’re a pudgy, pasty-faced, sweaty 15-year-old loser when you’re turned, you’re always going to be. That’s what happens to Doug Lee. Poor Doug is also crippled by low self-esteem, a computer nerd for a friend, mild homophobia and the social awkwardness that means girls will always view him with a mixture of exasperation and pity. When he finds out that vampirism doesn’t necessarily change any of that, the story achieves both pathos and hilarity. Doug’s efforts to handle dating, high school, his vampire mentor (who’s more depressing than a priest at a funeral) and finding enough plasma to keep him going make for fun reading. The dialogue is on target and crisp, especially when outlining the dynamics of high school politics. The charming Sejal, a visitor from India, was great to read about, too. Like Doug, she sees American culture from the viewpoint of an outsider, however, she’s also desperate to belong. While fending off Doug’s clumsy advances, she learns a startling thing or two about herself. The whole novel is unexpected yet narrows in on the adolescent experience of growing up in the United States. But she’s not the only one. There are a myriad of characters swirling around in this novel, each with their own dialogue. If the thought of yet another teenage vampire book makes you sick, “Fat Vampire” is the perfect antidote.